Shocked and defeated Part II

So, I will start with the Birthday party for Billy.  I was feeling sad the whole way there and really just wanted to cry, but I did not want to do that to Billy.  So, I put my big girl pants on and made the most of the night.  When we got there, it wasn't too long and Erin, Billy's wife and my Bridesmaid from the wedding, said she had heard I had a lot of things going on or actually not going on now.  Right when she said that, I just wanted to run off and burst into to tears, but I kept my big girl pants and just told her that things were getting set back and I was going to tell her about it, but I just couldn't right then.  I know she did not know that I was upset or she would not have said anything and I really wanted to talk to her about it, but there were other people there and I really wanted the day to be about Billy and not my drama.  So, the night progressed and I kind of told her what was going on and Billy asked about it too, but they didn't get the dets.  It was close to 11pm and people were starting to leave but Jason wanted to watch the rest of whatever game was on.  So, it was just Linda, Joe, Sharon and Matt and they all kind of knew something was wrong, I felt.  So, sat down and decided to tell them everything.  I was so proud of myself because I didn't cry one time!  Now it is all out there and what I really love most is that I told them on my time and didn't get bombarded with questions about the Baby stuff and the night was actually about Billy and his Birthday and my sadness was not the topic of dinner conversation with the entire table! 

I know everyone is excited about the possibility of a Baby, but in the same token, this is an exhausting, overwhelming process and sometimes I just want to have normal conversations that don't revolve around the Baby stuff.  It felt good to have them know everything though and not wonder if anything was happening.  At this point, the next time we will really know anything it will be to transfer with the third egg donor. 

So, about the Doctor visit.  First of all, there is a sign on the door that says something along the lines of no kids allowed. Well, this is the second time I broke that rule by bringing Lily.  Opps!!!!  Anyways, we went in the Dr. Le's office and he started by saying how sorry he was and that they don't know what happened and are really sad and sorry as well.  He said he wanted to do whatever it takes to make the situation right and will oversee our process himself from this point forward.  He feels we were not given a chance to even have a successful result with his Clinic.  So, in a nutshell, they are really sorry and trying to do the right thing, I feel. 

Now, we will just wait for the egg donor to get her tests with the Clinic and move forward.  Dr. Le is thinking we might be able to transfer mid November to the beginning of December if everything is good with the egg donor.  So, that is not delaying us too long.  I have to believe that everything happens for a reason and these "hurdles" have all been to get us the Baby that is meant for us to have from God.  I am praying this is the last of the "hurdles" and we will be Mommy and Daddy this time next year.