Bitter, Angry, Chip On My Shoulder????

So, the title of this post is the words that have been used to describe me by my "Family" this week.  It is actually not really mine, it is the Husband's family.  Do I think it is rude and HIGHLY offensive, YES, I totally do!!!  Do I understand why they would say this, YES I totally do....

Since we have told people how we are going about having a Baby, it has amazed me the things that people have said that we have told about the Baby.  I would think most people would just say it is wonderful news and how happy they are that we are going to be Parents.......UUUUUUHHHHHH, NOT SO MUCH!!!

I have been asked or told.....

"So, this is Jason's Baby, right??"

"So, what does the Egg Donor look like??"

"So, is this your Baby??"

"Oh, you use an Egg Donor, aren't you worried about their family history???" (This one is seriously my personal favorite because it goes to show you just how ignorant people are)

"Oh, no, you had to use an Egg Donor, oh, I sure hope your Baby doesn't have problems!"

"You shouldn't use an Egg Donor because there is no telling what you will get!"  (REALLY, this one just disturbs me!!!)

"So, what does your Surrogate look like?"  (UUUUUHHHH, what the heck does that even matter at all???)

"I sure hope this person you have carrying your Baby isn't doing drugs or eating stuff she isn't supposed."

"I sure hope this Lady doesn't keep your Baby."  (Yes, I am quite sure she is planning on keeping the Baby!, GEEZ!!!!)

Literally, these are statements that have been made RIGHT AFTER we have told these people we are having a Baby!!  I just don't understand how people can be so rude and heartless!  And, yes it is MY opinion that I think it is rude!  I guess my deal is, what does it matter???  The fact is, we are going to have a baby.  It should matter who, what, when or how it happened.  It is a BABY!!!  They aren't the ones that will be supporting her or she or taking care of the her or she.

I guess you have to walk a mile in my shoes to understand how I feel.  It is already bad enough that I can't carry a child or even have a blood relation to a child of my own, so to be asked such rude and inappropriate questions just really stabs me in the heart as I feel that people don't think this Baby is mine.  I go with the statement that just because you can birth a child of your own, doesn't make you a parent.  But, I am truly beginning to see that some people really don't believe that!  I wish people could take a step back and put themselves in my position and realize how ignorant they sound by asking such rude and quite frankly questions that are NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!!!!  For me, a dumb question deserves a dumb and even rude answer.  Maybe then, people will think how their question sounds.  At the end of the day, I am going to be a MOTHER to MY Child and that is ALL that should matter!!  

I think our IVF Doctor described to me the true definition of an Egg Donor.  He said, it is only tissue from a person that is used to create the Baby that will be yours.  Those words really have come to mean a lot to me!  Heck, my IVF Nurse told me the day we were released from their care, that she sure hopes the Baby has my eyes just as serious as ever.  For her, it was a matter of feeling that this Baby was part of me no matter if there was a blood line their or not.  She really didn't even think any other way, even though she knew our whole story. 

I do blame myself for a lot of the repercussions I have endured with people and their stupid questions though.  I chose to be honest though this whole process and not "lie" about how the Baby came to be.  The last thing I want to do is lie to my Child.  So, after much back in forth in my head, I chose to do the right thing and tell people the truth about using an Egg Donor.  I felt like I wanted people to be able to know there are other ways to be a Mom even if you do have fertility issues, BUT it really isn't anyone's business to know how we had a Baby.  Granted, it isn't like I go up to every single person I know and tell them we have an Egg Donor, but I thought I could tell our Family my feelings and not be crucified for it and questioned!   I do understand that this is all new to them and they don't know any better, but have some compassion for me at least.  Heck, say those things behind my back like normal people!  My Brother in Law describes it best by saying that people don't go around asking others how much they weigh, so why do people find it ok to ask about the Egg Donor.  I will repeat....WHAT DOES IT MATTER????  In the end, it doesn't and it just hurts that people wouldn't be more sympathetic to my feelings. 

So, the Family used Bitter to describe me.  This one is a word that I would say YES, you are CORRECT!!!  I am bitter that people all around me can get pregnant and carry their own child and then get it taken away because drugs or alcohol are more important than their Child, then turn around and get pregnant again just to have the same thing happen.  Yes, I am bitter too because people abuse or even worse, kill their own children!!  It is an endless cycle with so many girls I hear about, it makes me sick and yes, BITTER!!!  I am pretty sure I am not alone in that aspect.  So, if you would like to say I am Bitter, than sign me up!!!!!  Yep, that's me!!!!! 

The other word used to describe me was Angry.  Why yes, yes I am angry that I am unable to bear my own Children.  Who wouldn't be??  Am I the exception to the rule that I should be happy and jumping from the couch that I can't have a child from my own Baby like most women??  I think not!!  So, if that makes me Angry, than so be it.  Yes, I am angry and do not understand why this happened to me.  Sorry, that people wouldn't be able to understand that one at all!  It actually makes me more angry that people can't think how that would make me feel and how inadequate as a woman I would feel, but they sure seem to be able to judge me for my feelings.

So, this brings me to my all time favorite that was used to describe me.  It was actually these exact words, "You really have a chip on your shoulder!"  Well, yes, yes I do because I have to deal with a Family that can't even step back for ONE SECOND and think how I possibly would feel at all!!!  Yes, DING DING DING, we have a winner people!!!  So, if my "Family" really wants to insinuate that I have a chip on my shoulder, they are the reason!!  They have no idea what I feel nor do I think some of them even care.  I know they are always scared to ask anything about Baby, but this is the very reason I don't like to talk to them about it.  They just don't support me, they want to tell me everything that is wrong or what THEY think.  Well, to be honest, I don't care what they think since they aren't living my life.  I just want them to let me say and be how ever I want to be and just be there to listen, BUT that isn't going to happen with most of them, so why bother anymore! 

I mean, I wish they could see what it is like to be at Doctor appointments and not really acknowledged or even be listed on the sonograms.  I mean, it is OUR BABY!!!  I get there are all these "laws" in regards to the "patient" and stuff like that, but I still don't find it fair or right.  I mean, there is no genetic link to our Baby and the Carrier.  I know that it is her body and completely understand, but it still is hard to swallow sometimes.  I know she isn't to blame at all as she is just following the laws as well.  And, I am not blaming her or saying it is her fault at all, it is just frustrating when Doctors and Nurses barely even act like they know who you are and barely address you at appointments.  It just blows my mind that the Carrier has all the rights and power over our Child.  I mean, she literally has to sign a form giving the Doctors permission to give me information on MY BABY!!  SERIOUSLY????  I think that would make anyone feel pretty inadequate and upset to know that the Carrier has all the rights and you are pretty much helpless.  I am controlled by laws and regulations not what is right or fair.  I know it is what it is and I get it, but it still doesn't make it fair or change the way it makes me feel.  But, I also know life isn't fair and not everything in life is that way we want it either.  I am actually a very rational person and did not go into this lightly, BUT I am entitled to having my own feelings and thoughts and would think that my "Family" would be the ones to be there for me and understand things.  I should be able to voice my feelings and vent all I want and not be judged and called Bitter, Angry or be told I have a chip on my Shoulder.  Even if they don't agree, they could at least act like they do and just support me as Family should!  I know that are just ignorant to this whole process and that is some of the reason they don't understand why I feel the way I do at all. 

I am SO very happy that I have this blog to capture the good, the bad and even the ugly sides of my life.  I know I am VERY lucky to be able to have the opportunity to have a child through Surrogacy.  I know a lot of couples that can't afford to do it and would probably give anything to go through all the good and bad to have a child through Surrogacy.  And don't get me wrong, I am EXTREMELY thankful and blessed each and every day that I am fortunate enough to have a dream come true!! 

In the same token, I also want to share all my thoughts and feelings to the whole process and the feelings that I have through this.  I think a lot of times, the Parents are kind of on the back burner and don't really get to express their feelings.  I hope that me voicing my feelings will really be something that other Parents can relate to and know they are not alone, like I often feel.  This process isn't easy and it comes with many challenges and obstacles.  But, it also comes with a huge reward in the end and that is the dream of becoming a Mommy!!!  I can honestly say, this has been one of the hardest things I have dealt with in my life.  So, would I say it is all worth it, absolutely!  Do I wish more people could understand, absolutely!! 

I am very thankful that our Carrier is someone that I know will take care of our Baby and just wants us to be parents in the end.  I am glad that she has given me the opportunity to be at the appointments and know pretty much everything that is going on with the Baby.  I know that she really tries to make me feel very involved in everything.  Like I said before, she isn't the one making the laws and rules on how this process is handled.  She is doing just as I am doing and that is what the laws and contracts state.  I am quite sure she has her own set of frustrations with the process and how things are done.  But for her, she is making my dream come true!!!  For that, I am truly grateful to her.  She will always hold a VERY special place in my heart!!!   She is giving me the BEST gift anyone can give someone!!  :-) :-) :-)  It was actually kind of funny today when I saw her and she said she wanted to get me a Birthday gift and I was like, uuuuuhhhhhh, NO you are giving me a gift in about six more months!!!  I think that is BETTER than all the Birthday gifts I have ever received in my whole life!!!  She will be the BEST Birthday gift giver EVER!!!!  She wins the award for sure!!!!

So, with all this said, I can't end this WAY TOO LONG post without acknowledging the Egg Donor for donating her tissue to help create our Miracle Baby!!!  She will always be an inspiration to me and I will always have a bond with her even though I don't know her at all!!  It is nothing that I can explain myself, but I really believe it is that bond that will bring me closer to my Baby!   I know I am going to be the BEST Mommy in the world and I sure hope that one day My Baby will know just how much I wanted him or her and did whatever it took to make it happen!!!  The day I get to see my Baby for the first time, I know the all the trials and tribulations will seem VERY insignificant!   

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Well, yesterday was the BIG 3-5 birthday for me.  I can't believe that I am actually 35.  I don't feel 35 and I don't think I look 35.  At least, that is what I hope others think!!!  I mean seriously, when my Grandma was only one year old than me at 36, she was a Grandma to my Sister!  That is just crazy to me to even think that I am old enough to potentially be a Grandmother.  Thank God that isn't going to happen!!  Heck, I am barely going to be a Mom! 

So, my birthday was actually a good day.  The weather was BEAUTIFUL!!!  So, my Sister and Lily took me to lunch at East Hampton Sandwich Company in Snider Plaza.  I LOVE that Shopping Center!!  Like most of Dallas though, the parking isn't great though!  You have to circle around and around to get a parking spot and deal with the what I call the Highland Park B*tches who think they are better than EVERYONE!!  Not all of them are like that, but let me tell you, there are A LOT that do think that way!  Just go drive around the place and you will see exactly what I am talking about.  Anyways, we both had the Lobster Rolls for our meal and they were SO YUMMY!!!  I loved it and will definitely have to take the Hubby there!  After that, we strolled over to Baby Bliss.  My Sister got a gift from someone that she wanted to take back.  It was a onsie that was WAY over priced for a baby that will just spit up all over it!  So, we looked through the store at all the same stuff you would find at Babies R Us or Buy Buy Baby except it is 100% higher priced and decided on a more practical item.  But, while I was there, the BEST thing happened.  The Orbit Baby G2 Car Seat and Stroller was on sale for 1/2 off!!  SCORE!!!   I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Orbit Baby stuff, but the price is not something that I love or the Hubby loves at all!!!  So, since the G3 is now out, they are trying to get rid of the G2 much to my benefit!  So, I got an extra little birthday gift!  Doesn't get much better than that!

Baby R will be riding in style for sure with this thing!!

This is my Birthday gift from Lily!

My Sister got me these Hunter Boots and I can't wait to wear them!  I never wanted a pair until I kept reading Mix and Match Mama blog and raved about them!  Come on rain!!!

As we were walking over the Crème De La Cookie to get something sweet for Lily, I saw the Hubby walking by.  I was like, hey, what are you doing here.  He was at Nekter Juice Bar.  I found out about the GREATNESS of Nekter Bar from Alexis Bellino of The Housewives of Orange County and after doing some googling, found out they had FINALLY come to Dallas!!  YAY!!!!  I made the Hubby take me there the day before my Birthday and he really liked his juice, so decided to get one for lunch. 

For dinner, the Hubby and me went to one of my favorite restaurants, Royal Thai.  I just LOVE their food!!!  After dinner, we went across the street to Yumilicious for some froyo!  Then back home to watch The Bachelor, Vanderpump Rules Reunion Part 2 and The Housewives of Beverly Hills.  It was a pretty amazing birthday and I am so very glad to have such wonderful people in my life to share my day with.  It was one of the best birthdays EVER!!  And, I am not done with the celebrations!  I am having lunch this week with my Grandparents and a family Birthday Party this weekend.  It is going to be a great week! 

My Hubby got me a pair of Citizen jeans.  I love love love this brand!  They are seriously the best jeans EVER!!  If you don't own a pair, get on down to Nordstrom and buy a pair and you will know exactly what I am talking about!

The Hubby also got me a Goddis Poncho.  I love this brand for slouchy comfortable days!  This thing is so comfortable! (I got this a little early, so I have already worn it!)

I got a shirt to go with my jeans too!  It is SUPER comfy!!

I can't wait to wear this from my Hubby.  It is Goddis too and it is going to look SUPER cute with some cut off shorts this summer! 

We are also making progress with the house.  We now have the form boards up, the trenches dug for plumbing, plumbing going in and the electric pole installed.  It is just a few days away from getting the foundation poured.  WHOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!  If we keep going at this rate, we actually could be in before Baby gets here!!!  

Everything with Baby is great.  It was 11 weeks as of Monday, so the first trimester is almost over!!  YAY!!!  I can't wait to find out what it is so I can start buying all kinds of clothes and the baby bedding.  I also want to get the room color figured out for the new house.  Oh, there is so much to do!  It is all so exciting!!  Pretty much everyone who knows about the Baby thinks it is a Boy, so it will be interesting to see if that is the case! 

One step closer

Well, it has been extremely hard to keep this secret, but we are one step closer to being Parents.  We got the BEST Christmas gift the day after Christmas.  I got a FB message while I was driving through the parking lot of Stonebriar Mall on the way to Nordstrom with a positive pregnancy test.  I really didn't know what I was looking at first.  But, I quickly figured out once I saw that it said "Congratulations" in the picture.  I couldn't believe it!!!  In fact, I still can't, eight weeks later!! 

So, here is the story that has been pretty much a secret for a while now.  It started back in December after we got back from Ohio visiting Jason's family.  He had to do his part of the process, BUT it wasn't that easy for him so drastic measures had to be taken.  So, anyways not to bore you all with details, just trust me that it was a PROCESS and one that I am sure he will not forget anytime soon!!  So, this all took place on December 16, 2013 which was the same day that the Egg Donor would be doing the egg retrieval.  Both parts had to be done at the same time so they could get the Embryos for the fresh transfer on day three or five.  Five day is ideal, but if the Embryos aren't doing as well, they would do a three day transfer.  Well, the Embryos were all good for a five day transfer.  So, on Saturday, December 21, 2013 we went to get "B" and off to the clinic we went.  It was raining that day, so it kind of delayed us a bit, but nothing too bad.  So, they took us into a room to do the process of transferring the Embryos.  Jason was out at that point, but I stayed with "B" for the transfer.  The Dr. came in and it literally took him about three minutes to transfer the two Embryos.  Then, "B" had to lay elevated for 30 minutes.  Jason came back to the room to wait with us.  Once that was done, we were off to McDonald's for fries.  That is the Surrogate tradition I learned.  So, we all ate our fries on the way to drop "B" off with her friend to relax for the rest of the day and night.  This also happened to be the day of one of my Family Christmas' and it was SO hard to not say a word when my Grandpa asked how the Baby stuff is going.  I know they want me to be a Mommy probably more than I do.  But, I just didn't want to jinx anything, so I just said things were going well. 

"B" had told me that she would probably be able to test on Christmas, but I told her I didn't want to know until after Christmas, just in case it didn't work.  It would be too sad for me.  The Dr. appointment to confirm the pregnancy was not until NYE, which I thought was AWESOME, well as long as it was good news!!  But, the test would show as early as four days after transfer.  Well, she said she just knew she was pregnant, so on Christmas night she took a test and it was POSITIVE!  She said she jumped on the bed she was so excited.  I didn't know she had tested, but the next day I was getting comments on the secret FB page I am on for people like me.  :-)  They were asking me if I had news and I was like, am I supposed to.....At that same time, "B" had text me to see if I could meet for lunch, but I was already with My Sister and Lily doing after Christmas shopping.  It had become a tradition. So, I asked her if we could meet the next day and she said, sure.  Well, I then told her what people on the board were asking me and she said, "Do you want news?"  Of course I was like, yes.  She then sent me the test I mentioned earlier.  I then went to Pottery Barn kids and bought the first present for Baby R.  It was a little stuffed elephant.  If you know we well, you know the deal with me and elephants. 

So, she continued testing daily to make sure the lines get darker.  If they don't darker, my understanding is that it could be a chemical pregnancy.  The lines did get darker as the days went on so I was confident that it worked.  So, December 31, 2013 came and it was time for her to go to the IVF Clinic to get BETA.  That is the blood test that determines pregnancy.  The BETA number was 205.  They said anything over 100 is a great number especially consider it was only 10 days from transfer.  She then had to go back two days later to do another BETA in order to make sure the number grew.  This time the number was 433.  We were for sure having a Baby!!! 

Now we just had to wait for the Sonogram to determine if there was one Baby or two.  So, the sono appointment was set for January 13, 2014.  Everyone that knew was hoping it was twins, but not this girl right here!!  I would have been happy with two, but I really just wanted one Baby to cuddle and never let go!!  That would be a lot harder with two at one time!!  Everything was looking good with the sonogram and we were on track for the next appointment to hear the heartbeat.  "B" was kind of upset that they didn't try to hear it at this one since it was six weeks.  The IVF Clinic just wouldn't do it.  We were really supposed to go for the sonogram at 5 1/2 weeks, but I was in Mexico at that time and "B" wanted to wait for me to get back before going. 

So, we went to our next sonogram appointment on Friday, January 24th to see the development and hear the heartbeat.  Jason was supposed to go, but work priorities got in the way.  I was really a little disappointed since he had know about this appointment for a while and could have just exited the appointment he was on with one of his Sales People a little earlier.  Of course, that revelation next crossed My Workaholic Husband's little mind!!  So, the did the sonogram and I could see the little flutter of the heartbeat on the what looks like a blob on the screen.  It was really fast.  So, then the Dr. turned on the sound and we heard the little heartbeat.  It was SO awesome to hear.  I will never forget that sound!!  I hate that Jason will never get that moment!!  The IVF Clinic was so excited for us after all we have been through, so it was a little bittersweet to be done with them and move on to the OBGYN. 

The frame was a sweet gift from our Surro Family.  The picture is the latest sonogram.

Fun in the sun......Well, sort of...........

So, every year The Husband takes the top Sales Person (technically, My Hubby is the top Sales Person in the Company, so I guess it is the second best Producer in the Company) to Mexico as a thank you.  A Recruiter goes as well.  There is only one that has been with the Company long enough to qualify at this point, then "My Brother in Law and Sister in Law" go as well..  I always feel like these trips really aren't a vacation since it is with the Hubby's employees and I have to be on my best behavior which is hard to do when you are just real and it's hard to be fake!!!  I struggle greatly with it and the Hubby has gotten in trouble for the things that I say from his "Brother", so I really, really try hard!!!  I am just not good at being phony at all!!!  I guess I need to buy a book on how to be a phony fake.  Is there such a thing??  Maybe I need to write a book about it if there isn't one just as soon as I figure out how to do it!  So, I would really like to go back to the resort we stayed at with just my Hubby and me to really have fun!!! 

So, we left Dallas Wednesday, January 8th on a very fog, dreary day.  It was a perfect time to get out of Dallas and get some sun since I had spent most of December sick!  When we got to the Cancun airport it was PACKED!!!  So, we had a little wait to get through Customs and back check.  Once we got outside, it was SO humid and cloudy.  The sun was no where in sight.  Sigh!!!!  So, we got in the van to the Hotel and grabbed some beer for the road trip.  It took about 40 minutes to get from the airport to the Hotel.  When we pulled up, I was so happy to see the Hotel was super nice!  It was the first time we had stayed at this Hotel.  It was Excellence Playa Mujeres, which I did a lot of research on before booking the trip and the reviews were excellent.  It was pretty the best all inclusive resort I have ever stayed in.  Definitely worth every penny!! 

So, once we got checked into our room, it was still raining, so I decided to take a siesta!  It was the best sleep I have had in a long time!!  I finally woke up at 7:45pm.  The Husband had about 10 text messages from our Party.  So, we got up and got ready to go to dinner.  Everyone else had already eaten, so we went to the Agave, which was the Mexican restaurant at the resort.  The food was SO GOOD!!!  I think the Hubby was pretty blown away at how good the food was for an all inclusive resort.  The food is usually just ok.  We met up with the rest of our party after dinner and had drinks and just talked. 

The next day we woke up to another dreary day!  I was really over this weather by now!  I can for SUN!!!  So, we decided to go to the spa for massages.  We did a massage on the beach, which was a little cold, but it was actually pretty great! 

The sun FINALLY came out on Friday and we all took the boat over to Isla Mujeres.  I HIGHLY recommend this place as it is simply MAGNIFICIANT!!!  You can rent a golf cart for the day and just drive around the island.  the water is SO PRETTY!!!  This year we went zip lining, which I was a little nervous about, but I did it and can't wait to do it again!!  It was fun!!! 

I just love the towel swans they made!

The Jacuzzi bath had a window that opened to the patio which was awesome!!

The candelabra was in the lobby of Agave and I had to take a picture of it because it was SO cool!!

I loved that they still had the resort decorated for Christmas!!!  It was still that way when we left on Sunday! 

This was at our favorite bar in Isla Mujeres. 

This was Friday night after the rain was over so my hair isn't near as frizzy from the humidity.

This was the view from our room. 

I loved the daybed on our balcony.  We spent most of the day Thursday on that thing just watching the rain before our spa appointment

We were back at Agave on Saturday night after we had to leave The Lobster House due to the lobster being horrible!!  it was the only thing I ate the whole time that was bad!  They had the best Mango Margaritas in the world!!  To die for!!!!

Getting ready to go down the zip line!  This picture also was my realization that I need to drop a few pounds!  My arms look SO big and I won't even talk about the fat roll above my harness!  YUCK!!!!!

 

Oh, I also totally forgot to post the best present I got last year!  I LOVE IT!!!!!

This was a gift from "B".  She knows I love shoes, so this was perfect, plus the saying is very fitting!!  It is my Motto for 2014!! 

It says, "The DREAMS that you dare to DREAM REALLY DO COME TRUE!!

Merry After Christmas!!

Another Christmas has come and gone and usually I am a little sad to see it end, but not this year.  Even though I LOVE Christmas time, I am also looking forward to 2014.  I remember this time last year and I was in the midst of wedding planning and was SO excited for 2013.  Now, I am SO ready for what 2014 will bring.  I think I had more Christmas celebrations than ever this year!  It started on Saturday, the 21st at my Grandparents Christmas which is always interested because that Family has SO many CRA CRA people in it!!  It is always good people watching for sure.  I had my Mother and her Husband and My Sister and Brother in Law over on the Sunday before Christmas, then a full day of Christmas activities on Christmas Eve followed by a dinner on Christmas Day.  Needless to say, I am really ready for normalcy!  Next on the agenda, to take all the decorations down.  That is NOT something I am looking forward to!!! 

My Christmas Table

                                                     The tree with all the presents!  Love it!!

Our First Christmas as Mr. and Mrs.

Outdoor fireplaces are the best!!!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!!!

I love everything about Christmas.  I love to decorate my Christmas Tree and fireplace mantel and go look at Christmas lights.  It is such a pretty time of year.  I wish that life wasn't so busy because I would love to have a tradition of a Christmas Party with our friends.  Maybe when we move into the new house I will be able to do that since we will have more room for entertaining and can hire a babysitter for all of our friend's that have kids.  I love to entertain so this would be right up my alley!  I can't wait until the day I have a child so that I can do all kinds of fun stuff with him or her.  There are SO many things you can do for the kids and I want to have Christmas Traditions for my little family every year.  One of the things I remember the most from my childhood is the things I did with my Grandparents every year at Christmas time.  My Grandma always made Christmas so special and actually it is also this time of the year that I miss my Grandparents the most.  I sure hope my Christmas wish comes true!! 

I just love the burlap animal print ribbon I found at First Monday. 

The top of the tree is one of my favorite things about my tree.  I have done this tree topper for a few years now before it was "the cool thing" to do.  Every year I get compliments from the same people on it like they have never seen it on the tree before. 

The whole view of the tree.  It is 9 feet tall and it takes what seems like forever to decorate and get the branches just the way I like them.  I am having a closet built in the new house just to store the tree, so I can just wheel it into the closet like this every year!  Then I can get a real tree too.  I love real Christmas Trees and will have one next year to go along with this one!  So, I guess I am not really saving myself much time if I am just going to decorate the real one.  Oh well, at least it will only be one and not two to decorate!

I love this ornament.  One of my sweet friends got this for us as a wedding gift and I waited all year to put it on the tree.  It has the our wedding date on the other side.  It is SO CUTE!!!

My mantel is a little boring right now, but it works for this year.  I am going to go to the sales after Christmas and find a wreath to add to it next year and some new garland.  I don't like this stuff at all.  It has little plastic ice crystals all over it and gets EVERYWHERE!!  I am going to retire it after this season.  I think I am just going to find some plain garland and then add my own touches to it with the help of my hot glue gun and some fun stuff!!  I looked everywhere for stockings with an animal print design and these are what I found at First Monday.  I like them because they are a little different than the tree and complement the colors in the living room.  Jason doesn't like them though.  Oh well, I do so they are staying!  :-) 

 

I am keeping things a little quiet right now on the Baby front until we know for sure what is going to happen as to not let ourselves down.  I don't want the most wonderful time of the year to be ruined by the ordeal we have faced with the Baby stuff.  I know it is a little wrong to not let our own Family in on all the Baby stuff, but I kind of describe it to others as the ones that had a Baby the "old fashion way" not telling us every time they see us if they had sex.  I know that is kind of to the point, but it is truly the same thing, just in a different way.  I also just don't feel like we have to share every detail of this with our Family members.  Jason and I just try to be as normal as can be when we are around our Family and not let them in on our life of getting Baby.  It just makes any kind of let downs even worse when you have to tell others bad things.  So, pretty much VERY few people will even know anything until there IS a Baby and we are telling the sex of the little miracle.  That is the plan for now.  Some many things have gone wrong, so I am truly hopeful for my wish to come true! 

About a house.......

Well, the time FINALLY came that we closed on the house/lot.  It felt like forever since we started this process, but we closed on Tuesday.  It was such a relief to know that we can now start the craziness of house building.  First, we had to take care of some much needed cleaning out of the lot to make way for our new house. 

On Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, the tree removal began.  I really did not want the tree guys to work on Thanksgiving, but they insisted it was fine with them.  We went over there to see the progress before heading onto the Families for the lunch.  I was amazed at the amount of work they had done by 10am!  The trees were not small either!!  I know some of the tree huggers out there will be mad that we didn't save the trees, but we have no choice to get the house to fit.  Besides, people need firewood, lumber and paper still!!!  So, in my mind, the trees are being recycled!  I was really worried, I would see a sign saying, SAVE THE TREES! 

This is what I saw when we pulled up to the house on Thanksgiving Day. 

This is the stump from the tree in the front yard.  The bulldozer that demos the house, will pull the tree trunk out of the ground.  The guy in the tree is on the last branch of the biggest tree that you can see in the picture of above in the left corner.